Ritagail's posterous

July 30, 2009

my song, lyrics only

Ok, I'm bummed, I used nearly all of my time waiting on the Yahoo to upload my file when I finally checked to realize that the file of my singing is too big.......I had a little commentary at the beginning, hope I can just cut that off and leave the song.

Here's my post that goes with it. Maybe I can upload the singing tomorrow. It's not great, but it's not too shabby, just my voice no accompaniment.

*******************************************************************************************************

There's lots of things I should be doing: folding/stuffing/addressing ministry schedules, washing dishes, watering flowers that have been promised rain but only got a dampening.............but, I evaluated why I'm so grouchy and found that part of it is because all the “chores/jobs” have been keeping me from working and sharing my creativity. So, I decided to record my song even though I haven't worked out chords yet for accompanying myself on the keyboard.

Imagine my surprise when my solo voice turned out not too shabby.......not great.......but not too shabby. So, I'm going to go ahead and post it from the library. I'm typing the words at home and will paste them into the e-mail for this post. I've got an audio commentary before the song, if (I said “if”....maybe you won't want to....giggle) IF you want to listen to the song again, just fast forward through my blah blah blah.

The song was recorded with a simple $10 microphone, and free Audacity software. The only filter used was “acoustic” which takes out some of the buzzing.

I've tentatively titled this “Here Grows Oklahoma”.

Green grass.

Shady leaves.

Bright marigold buds.

Feathered clouds arching the sky

Holding cardinals and doves.

Late Spring.

Early Summer.

Storms are mostly gone.

This is the time of hope and peace

Before Summer's heat comes.

Spring grows Oklahoma

From the dust and the clay,

From the rocks oaks reach the sky,

Living hope for better days.

Here grows Oklahoma

Flowering from tears of grief,

And pain and toil

Buried under our soil

Giving growth to hope and peace.

Native peoples.

Tribes removed.

Oil men, ranchers, and farms,

Joined by others hoping for

A life of peace with no harm.

Droughts parch.

Floods flow.

Winds twist across the sky.

Here we build over again

And give Life one more try.

This is our home,

No matter where we roam,

Our hearts always turn to this land.

We can be far away,

But still we will pray

For peace from our Creator's hand....

Strong grows Oklahoma

From the dust and the clay,

From the rocks oaks reach the sky,

Living hope for better days.

Here grows Oklahoma

Flowering from tears of grief,

And pain and toil

Buried under our soil

Giving growth to hope and peace.

(for America)

This is our home,

No matter where we roam,

Our hearts always turn to this land.

We can be far away,

But still we will pray

For peace from our Creator's hand....

Strong grows America

From the dust and the clay,

From the rocks trees reach the sky,

Living hope for better days.

Here grows America

Flowering from tears of grief,

And pain and toil

Buried under our soil

Giving growth to hope and peace.

(God, grant us peace.)

--Ritagail Crowell Burleson, July 30, 2009

Comments [3]

July 26, 2009

what's a woman to do?

One reason I'm not posting much is because I am bothered by many topics and would really really REALLY like to soundoff about them. But, most people wouldn't care and it might just depress others...............

BUT.................

Today 2 studies have come out: 1. That Veterans with PTSD run a higher risk of developing dementia, and, 2. That persons who drink alcohol moderately may be protecting themselves from dementia. (I will put a link to an article that addresses both of these as well as heart/brain health at the bottom of my post).

Welllllllllll.............as someone who the professionals DO agree that one defineable label I have is PTSD.............AND.........as someone who doesn't drink alcohol..........I drank about 5 times in my youth, over 20 years ago.............let me get this straight:

If I continue to try do keep all my brain cells intact by not indulging in alcoholic libations, I'm gonna eventually lose them all anyway???!!! ;0)

What the Hell is a Christian woman supposed to do?????!!!!!!!!!

hahahahahahiCCuphahahahahahahahaha

'Specially one who works for her own parish???

'Scuze me..........gotta go ride my bike up the hill for some Root Beer..........................

Oh Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Ok, Ok, all giddiness aside, here is one link, in a search, there were many more, but this one combines them:

http://news.prnewswire.com/ViewContent.aspx?ACCT=109&STORY=/www/story/07-13-2009/0005058435&EDATE=

Comments [2]

July 25, 2009

testing posterous to facebook

This is a test. I went to the library to use their computers and it told me I got it set up. This is a test of the Posterous to Facebook connection. Should this test work, then you poor souls who are my friends on Facebook will get my "bitter diatribes" at your Facebook account.

Should it fail..............you'll never know......unless you also read my Posterous.

Here goes............

Comments [0]

July 15, 2009

freedom in a beanbag chair

I rode my bicycle down to Kmart today, just to get some paper towels and toilet paper, and to go for a ride in the woods, without having to worry too much about hauling stuff home, will have to do more of that this weekend.

I meandered around a bit in Kmart. Beanbag chairs. On sale. Blue, they have blue ones. In a HUGE box. I walked away. Don't be ridiculous, I said to myself, there's no way you can get that beanbag home on your bicycle.

I've been wanting one for quite some time. I've had a few over my lifetime and I always love them. I've been beanbag-less for several years, you know, I'm a Grandma now for pity's sake, I should outgrow such things.

I found myself back in front of those huge boxes of beanbag chairs. I bet if I take it out of the box, I can, at the very least, walk it home on the bicycle. Self-conversation: Yes, I know it's a long ways, and, yes, it's really hot out, the clouds might not stay, and that sun is going to be merciless, and they are putzing around on the Pathfinder, which means I'll have to use the busy road part way.

I want one.

Ok, Self, but you're gonna have to cart it home. I'll get something cold to drink, a bottle of water to put in the "cold bag" and maybe cold drinks will be on sale at the gas station on the way.

So, Self and I bought the beanbag and a bungie cord and the nice lady at Kmart even took it out of the box for us.

We weren't sure how we were going to get it home, but, it turns out that it sat fine on top of the basket and the bungee cord reached with just a bit of struggle, and we all started walking, Self, Bicycle, Ms. Beans.....bottle of water, paper towels, and toilet paper.

We all stopped at the gas station, Yippeeee to God, ice in a cup with pop was on sale......69 cents...............the cup even fit in the back bag.

So, here we go, across the busy street, walking down the sidewalk, down an incline that is away from the road and there's a straight stretch of sidewalk ahead. This is it. The Test. For those of you who don't know or have forgotten, I had a horrible time learning how to ride a bicycle when I was younger. Even now, there are days when I worry a bit about my balance, with the added worry of if I'm hurting my shoulder/neck again. But there was that straight stretch of pavement with nobody else in sight and, I figure, if I hit the ground, maybe I'll bop into the bean bag......how hard could that be?

So, I have to wrench my leg over the back bag that has my cup of iced pop in it, and then, I tentatively start out........Guess What? I can see better than I thought.......the place where the bungee cord has matted down the Ms. Beans is just right for looking out for steering purposes if I'm careful. Woo Hoo!!! Won't have to walk all the way after all!!! Double Yippeee to God!!!!

Well, "we" all got home. I stopped once on a shaded bench before coming home and wrote the following poem, enjoy:

Sweat
Gleams my freckled arms
While the cicadas
Sing
Prior to their eternal rewards,
Amidst the trees that filter
The blues and greys
Hoping the sun
Will give way
To mid-July rains.
I pause on a bench
Cemented in the ground
For weary non-motorists
To catch their breath,
And I sip the pop that is
Watered from the ice
That I bought
To cool me on the way.
My precious beanbag
Bungeed to the front basket
Of my weary bicycle
Is nearly home--
And, so far, not a scrape
On my foolish fatty middle-aged body
Being buzzed by flies, wasps, and bees.
I'm almost tempted to
Plop myself down on
My bag of man-made beans
Right here while the
Cicadas sing,
But, July Heat won't relent
Until the much hoped for rains fall,
And the ice in my watery pop is nearly gone,
So, one more sip,
A nod to the cicada chorus,
And Ms. Beans and I ride home.

(typed from the comfort of Ms. Beans in Blue)

Comments [2]

July 6, 2009

locust/cicada time

Ever since I can remember, I've been fascinated with what I knew as locusts (but more sophissticated persons call them cicadas).

This morning, rather than give in to thinking too much, I grabbed the camera and took some photos of some locust shells. I'd already put my camera away when I saw the beautiful entity on the leg at the bottom of our outside table.

I didn't know if the blue in the transparent (translucent?) wing would photograph, but it did. A neighbor was putting out his garbage in the alley and I made the poor man look at the photo. He kindly shared the moment with me.

Enjoy!

Click here to download:

locustcicada_time.zip (995 KB)

Comments [2]

July 2, 2009

weekend reflection july 4/5 2009

Never, never, never...........when, in your frustration, you cry out to God "What am I supposed to be doing!?" and you don't receive a definitive answer...........never never never look at Scriptures, particularly not the liturgical ones for the upcoming weekend.

God will snare you every time. Beware! If you open your heart to God, you will end up saying something like what Paul wrote in 2 Cor. 12:10: "Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." (NASB)

Well, Bro. Paul, I'm not sure I'm at the stage where I'm content with those things, but I'm sure no stranger to them, and, I'm not sure I see my strength, but, even this hardheaded bulletin editor can maybe get something out of life.

Let me back up a bit, if you read my blog this week, you already know that Monday was a very bad day. There was one other incident that happened shortly before I got out of the office that bugged me but I wasn't sure why until I looked again at the past weekend's bulletin this morning.

On Monday, due to many many circumstances and my "meltdown", our pastor gave me the authority to strictly enforce the bulletin deadline on EVERYONE, including himself (except for emergencies and special circumstances). One thing you need to know about me, I LOATHE having any kind of authority/power/"look at me", etc. I personally think that it is this scrambling for "personal power" that is the root of many problems within human society, and definitely within Christianity.

I do NOT want to have to "enforce" anything on anybody. Yet, for my own sanity, I'm going to have to be very dilligent in making sure everyone sticks to the deadline.

YUCK!!!

Ok, back to Monday, right before I left the office: A woman entered the office with one of those airs of "personal power". She let us know that she had been given a job to do by our pastor, but she didn't know where to send the announcement.....and as I was standing right there, I let her know my e-mail, etc. No problem, let her have her moment of power...................and THEN she made a comment with a disgusted tone that she couldn't find the contact information on the bulletin because it had a special cover.

This particular cover was ordered by myself so that our pastor could have a bulletin that had "The Year of the Priest" on the cover, along with a note about his birthday and ordination anniversary inside the bulletin.........a keepsake, if you will. Not because I'm a "yes girl" to our pastor! He can tell you that himself....but out of Christian love in all of us wanting to serve God together........building up the Body of Christ.

Which leads me to ask the question: WHY are we all going to Church? WHY do we attend any religious services at all? Come on now, I'm talking to all Christian denominations here. Honestly, WHY are we here?

Is it because we believe in the Risen Jesus Christ and are convinced in our hearts of His Love and that we want to worship this God Who made us, became one of us, redeemed us, and has "prepared a place for us"?

Or, is it because it's another social club where we can exercise our personal power and run roughshod over anybody we please because we are, God forgive us, "God's Chosen Ones......God's Church"?

WHY are we a member of Christianity?

The communal answer to that question is the direction that the whole of Christianity will take.

By the way...............remember I said there was something bugging me that I couldn't quite place in the woman's comment about not being able to find contact info due to the special cover? It's because, inside this particular issue, I had to place a special note about this week's early deadline due to the holiday weekend: The bulletin e-mail is plainly printed inside. The woman never read the bulletin, if she had, she would have seen it and known where to send her announcement.

Will I drag myself to Mass this weekend? Probably. I'll be the one sitting on the edge, drawing out of love for the One Who "marvelled at their unbelief" (Mark 6:30c KJV).........and I'll be in His "Amen" corner.

Comments [0]

June 30, 2009

struggling and sketching

I'm not posting much mostly because I am extremely discouraged, disillusioned, and it's leading to a settling depression that is hard to fight.

Yesterday was a very bad day. I won't go into details, and, no it wasn't just what happened with "church" people, there were other incidents after I left work, but let me just say that if becoming "hardened" is what a person has to do to be an upstanding/successful/respected member of church AND of human society/family, then I'm not sure I want to be part of any of those human "institutions".

I think I am beginning to understand why people become recluses.

Enough of that.

A few weeks ago, Kilkenny Road, "an Irish band in northeastern Oklahoma" gave a free concert at OK Mozart, followed by a Celtic music workshop. They were entertaining, funny, and, above all congenial and warm and very open. A blessing.

They had a guest harpist, unfortunately I didn't catch her name, and a lady flute player who evidently will be leaving the band for other ventures in the Fall.

I attempted a sketch of them. It is a bit like my church sketches in that it isn't "exact", I was trying too hard to get a "likeness" and nearly ruined it, when I went more for "atmosphere" it came out better. So, you will see part of the guitar, part of the hammered dulcimer, as well as other members of the band, rather than everybody exactly as they were, where they were.

About the experience of sketching there: This is something that is bothering me because I'm not sure what to think/do about it. I was determined to go and enjoy myself. Remember, I don't get out of this town I live in and don't get to attend many "cultural events". I was nervous about sketching in front of strangers, being packed in more closely than I ever am at church when I sketch.

After awhile, people started watching ME drawing, rather than watching the band. Ugh! Not only was I nervous about trying to sketch with people Watching.......but I was embarrassed that I might be drawing attention away from the band!

I stopped at the break. The man sitting next to me was elderly and talkative. He told me "You have a real talent there."

This is somebody I had no idea who he was, but, as he didn't know me, I gathered he was being sincere, so I thanked him.

About that time, one of the older men from my church walked up to where I was sitting, I thought he wanted to say "Hi" to me, but, he hadn't even noticed me, it was the elderly man next to me. Turns out the man is a respected retired doctor in the community or something. He said to my fellow parishioner, "Did you know she can draw?" Fellow parishioner said, "Oh yes....she does that at church all the time." Elder doctor asked, "What does God think of that?"

By this time I spoke up: "It's the only thing keeping me in church right now!"

They chuckled, then proceeded to catch up with each other.

I'm still processing that whole event.

Enough about me, check out Kilkenny Road's website: http://kilkennyroad.com/

Guess I'd better remember to attach the sketch to this post.

Comments [0]

June 16, 2009

two of my vile (new) poems

On a green slope
In shady ninety degree plus heat,
With the South wind
At my back,
Traffic blaring past,
Contemplating the
Mean-
Ness
Of persons called
Church,
Of forgiveness,
Of "letting it go",
Of
Jesus.
Sitting here close to
Traffic's fumes,
Fuming
Myself in the heat of the day,
I splurged one precious dollar
On an ice cream bar
And, while sitting thus,
Noise outside,
Noisy soul inside,
Though pausing to pray,
All my wild thoughts

Stopped

And the traffic decrescendoed
As I immediately
Dealt
With
Melt-
Ing ice cream and chocolate
All over my face.
Is there any thing worth more thought
Than the blessing
Of a smeared face
From an ice cream bar
On a hot
Philosoph-
Ical
Day?

*******************************************

An early morn
Thunderstorm
Washes the pre-dawn
To send a cooler breeze
Before we reach 100 degrees
On this day of your birth.
Too long have you been gone.
Everything has changed.
Misery is the same.
Life is still empty,
Yet full.
The friendship we were
Developing
Makes me miss you
More.

Happy Birthday Jenell.

Comments [0]

June 14, 2009

"The Beauty of Our Worship" ready for order

Ok, it took 3 copies to get the inside "right"..........I uploaded a fancier cover, but it evidently didn't make the switch, and, my husband said just "leave it alone" and let everyone know that the book is online and ready for everyone to order.......he even ordered one..............after saving one of my proofs from the garbage because I was so frustrated with the whole process. I have a really GOOD friend/husband! (I really wanted to burn the whole thing and tell God and Everybody Else that there is NEVER going to be a book of my sketches....ahem....)

Here is the link to my Createspace webstore site. If you order it from here, I get to keep more of the price. However, I understand that many folks are more comfortable ordering through Amazon, it's also available there, just type in "The Beauty of Our Worship" in a search for books, and it will come up.

Here's the Creatspace link:

https://www.createspace.com/3384039

I don't know when I will get the color version done. I'm a bit confused as to why the process didn't work the way I thought it would.........my pdf version (which is what I have to send to Createspace) looked fine, but wouldn't print in their process without them fixing it. I may instead work on my second volume of poetry, and, I'm piddling with some children's story ideas. Stay tuned.

If you are in the area and buy one of my books, let me know and I'll sign it/them for you.

Thank you!!!

Ritagail

Comments [0]

June 1, 2009

update on sketches from Masses book

Progress is being made............and stressed out as well...........

When I received my proof there were 10 images missing. However, when contacting the printer, they reassured me that my pdf file I'd worked on was fine, it's just that the "missing" didn't print for some reason in their process, and that all 10 images had been restored.

So I ordered another copy that arrived today............only 4 are missing now...........I've sent them a note to ask them about it.

The quality is very good, in fact, I should probably make a snazzier cover to match, but, right now I'm frazzled from trying to get the inside images all in there.

This means, if they tell me they can get the other 4 in there that I will have to order another copy before the rest of you can buy it to make sure everything's in there ok. If, however, they tell me they can't get the other 4 to print, then I'll just let you all buy it the way it is.

As you may remember: I've been very very very discouraged over "Church" lately, and, God let me know that I didn't have to work on this project anymore if I didn't want to.........I've got plenty of my vile poems to turn into one or more books, and I could work on some children's stories, etc., evidently "print" works better than a book of images, so, I COULD be using my time and money to do something else.

But, I wanted to do this for God and to share with the rest of you/the world. Sure hope my fussing is worth it!

Stay tuned.

Ritagail

Comments [0]